dpSaturday Night Live once again returned Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) to its opener, this time with Donald Trump’s secretary of defense addressing the crew of the beleaguered U.S.S. Lincoln.
The ship was at sea for 265 days with no port call, and reports of poor conditions and demoralized sailors, but concerns over their plight were dismissed by Donald Trump.
At one point in the skit, Jost’s Hegseth tells the crew of his plans to stream a live execution. In reality, the Pentagon confirmed plans to stream the December execution of Nidal Hassan, sentenced to death for killing 13 people and injuring dozens more in a rampage at Fort Hood.
“As we get into the Christmas spirit, we’re going to execute a guy on live TV. Yeah, that’s right. Public executions are back.”
“And if the guy somehow survives the firing squad, then he’s got to fight Jake Paul. So check that out.”
Hegseth’s plans for a livestream of the execution have generated a backlash, with lawmakers in both parties condemning it and the president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops calling it a “barbaric promotion of a culture of death.”
Jost has played Hegseth with an ever present focus on acting tough, yet clearly overcompensating as one of the least qualified individuals to hold the post.
Wearing a sash containing small bottles, Jost’s Hegseth told the Navy crew, “I’m wearing an ammunition belt made of fireball cinnamon whiskey — the only alcohol designed to taste better on the way back up.”
Jost’s Hegseth also stood in front of the new logo for the Department of War — the Trump team’s preferred name for the Defense Department — with looks like it has a Third Reich influence.
One of the sailors asked, “Sorry, is that a Nazi eagle?”
“It’s an American eagle with a Nazi vibe,” Hegseth responded.
Last week, after Hegseth gave a speech to the Air Force Academy, there was extensive social media attention to the revised eagle design used as a backdrop and its similarities to one used by the Nazi regime.
The skit featured a cameo by Robert Kennedy Jr., played by James Austin Johnson, who tried to mimic the gravelly voice of the secretary of health and human services.
Johnson’s RFK Jr. told the sailors, “Yes, 200,000 pounds of pork, beef and goat meat have been recalled. But I just want to stress that catfish, pony and cricket are viable proteins for any American family.”
He added, “But I want to thank you. We were able to spot those recalls early by testing the meats on your ship. The research you provided on Operations Hell Cruise will be vital for many years to come.”
Hegseth finished up by quoting Lincoln — actually Linkin Park. You strive so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
He added, “Thank you for all being willing to go down with the ship — even though it breaks my personal rule of never going down on anyone.”
